“As empaths, our high level of sensitivity means that we are prone to feeling like eternal outsiders who are in the world but not quite of the world.” – Aletheia Luna
What Does “Highly Sensitive” Mean to You?
When you think of the term “highly sensitive,” what comes to mind? Is it deep empathy? The ability to show complex emotions? Heightened senses? Is it something spiritual or energetic? Something beyond description?
Sensitivity – especially high sensitivity – is often seen as a weakness, because it appears to take a back seat to more dominant personality traits. But consider:
-Who are the teachers and mentors you appreciate most?
-Who are the “warm” people you like to be around?
-Who is the empathic friend you value?
-Who is the person you know who reads the room or knows just the right thing to say?
-Is there a strong, “silent” person you value, whose mere presence makes things better?
Chances are these people stand out to you because they were sensitive…patient…caring.
For Highly Sensitive People, The World Can Be Overwhelming
I recently posted about empaths, including a checklist to help you determine if you are an empath. That article resonated with folks, because it created a sense of community around the idea that for some of us on the planet, it’s…well…hard to be on the planet! And not because we necessarily hate it here, but because sometimes, it’s just such a dang struggle.
For folks I call sensitives (like INFJs, INFPs, empaths, and highly sensitive people (HSPs)), it’s easy to be engulfed by life. For example, anxiety may be a common state of being. Overwhelm can become a common thing. And frankly, it’s exhausting.
As the quote at the opening says, sensitives are often prone to feeling like outsiders, because a lot of times it’s more comfortable on that sideline – away from the raucous noise, activity, and energies that creep into us and cling to us like claws.
All of this can pile on to the fact that folks who tend towards introversion are judged as distant, cold, or antisocial loners; or that because they feel deeply, they’re too intense; or that because they shy away from conflict, they’re simply people pleasers.
Of course, none of this is absolute truth. People exist on a spectrum and handle the world’s energies and trials in different ways, and it’s important to see the positives in all ways of interfacing with the world. In other words, there are strengths in all types – including being highly sensitive.
Being Highly Sensitive Is a Strength
When I work with sensitive folks who struggle in this world, we focus on the strengths of sensitivity. There are so many positives that don’t elbow their way to the front of the line of life personalities, but they’re there – and they’re worth identifying and working on.
Here are 5 strengths of being a highly sensitive person. Can you think of more?
1. You connect deeply with others. This can be difficult, especially when the connections are with folks who are struggling with their own lives. But think about this: Your ability to empathize and “go there” emotionally may make you the only human the other person feels really “gets” what they’re going through. That can change…or save…a life.
2. You connect deeply with yourself. A lot of sensitives are very much in touch with their own emotions (as well as the emotions of others). That kind of self-awareness, once harnessed, can help set healthy boundaries, promote healthy habits, and increase the capacity for knowing when self-care is needed.
3. You seek purpose and meaning, not just encounters. So many people are just going through the motions of life, wondering how they’re doing. But sensitives often want to dig in to find the why. Chasing the why of life and seeking meaning gives us purpose and helps us see the extraordinary meaning in ordinary events.
4. Patience is your virtue. Sensitives know that true friendships, true meaning, and true success take time, because true and lasting connections are more than gifts, physical relationships, or money. And even though life can be frustrating, and we may be easily disappointed, many sensitives are willing to wait – to give people, jobs, and life a second or third chance to reveal its brilliance. Waiting can be hard, but we know it’s worth it!
5. Victories are truly valued. When a sensitive learns to better handle anxiety or depression, overcomes shyness and asks for a date, makes a true friend, or connects the dots of a life mystery, it’s not just another tick off the ol’ life checklist…it’s a deep experience full of accomplishment and meaning. Through that lens, nothing is ever truly ordinary. In a way, life is one big opportunity to feel, learn, grow, and connect.
Being highly sensitive can mean being highly aware, highly empathic, and highly alert to the energies and opportunities of life. Embrace your sensitive side, folks. It has something powerful to offer, and it’s anything but weakness.