Writers after a personal insult: “One opinion can’t break me!” Writers after one less-than-stellar review: “I knew it! I’m pulling my book down. I’m done with writing. I’m a fraud. I’m deleting my works-in-progress and pulling down my blog. Goodbye writing world!”
Does this sound familiar? If you’re a writer who’s put work into the world, it probably does. It’s sure a familiar situation in my head. And you know what? That’s okay!
All writers/creators go through this, sometimes minute-by-minute! When we create something and put it out there, it’s hard to be neutral … to tune out criticism. And, let’s face it, it’s hard not to take it personally. But it is possible to overcome and move on.
One Book, Two Experiences – The Subjective World of Book Reviews
Like it or not, books are products – and people review products. Now, with authors, that gets complicated, because it can feel like people are reviewing us, personally.
Think about it: if someone reviews a beach ball and says, “Had to re-inflate after 5 minutes! Junk!!!” well, fine. The beach ball was defective. The company apologizes and might send another. If a reviewer says, “This book was a long slog, and I just couldn’t get into it. Don’t waste your money or time!” that’s a little different. It’s not a machine-made piece of rubber with air in it. It’s a product of years of toil, editing, rewriting, design, expense, etc.
And, the bad review for a book may just be one of a few other reviews, whereas a beach ball may have thousands of reviews.
But alas, books are products. And I’ve found with my writing in the personal growth space, it’s just not everyone’s cup of cocoa, y’know? Here’s an example: For a version of my novel, An Audible Silence, this was a review: “Boring!”
That’s it. That’s the whole review.
Here’s the next review down from that one: “Nice read. A well-crafted campfire story to illustrate to concepts of unity and forgiveness. Light a fire, gather a snack and drink, settle in to join this cozy group. Thought-provoking and illuminating. You will want to hear it twice.”
Same book. Same format. Same site.
I don’t know these reviewers. They only know my voice. I’m sure they’re both very nice, and if we met to talk books, it’d be great! And yet, they heard two … different … books – and had two completely different experiences. And left two different product reviews.
Yes, in my (biased) opinion, the second review gets to the heart of what’s between the pages (eerily so, actually). But … well … each reader had a different expectation. I can’t change that, and really, I don’t want to! Art evokes emotion, and we see them play out in reviews.
I certainly can’t quit because of one difficult piece of feedback. And I certainly can’t stop writing, speaking, teaching, and coaching around mindfulness, meditation, unity, forgiveness, peace, ancient wisdom, friendship, love, personal growth, self-improvement, and relationships because of it.
So, what can we do? How do we stay motivated when the inevitable, not-so-great reviews come along?
5 Ways to Deal with Difficult Book Reviews
If you went to elementary school, you know opinions can sting. But there are ways to lessen the pain. Here are five things you can try.
1. Remember, books are products. This is the one we just talked about, but it’s worth repeating. Authors are creators and inventors, putting a product into the world. People who buy it will interact with it, and then may want to comment on it. I know this isn’t the romantic vision of authoring, but it has helped me (and a few other folks I know) to think of books as participants in the stream of commerce. Someone may buy your book and then toss a potato peeler into the e-cart. After they finish their mashed potatoes, they may rate both purchases. That’s our modern world.
2. Keep good reviews close. Your book didn’t just appear. It went through a process. Other people read it. If you got some good early feedback on drafts, write it down and keep it in your writing space. If you have a good review online after publication, take a screenshot of it and make it your screen background! Remember that one review is just that. One.
3. Be open to learning from feedback. It’s hard not to take criticism personally, but you know what? Sometimes we can learn from it. Once the shock of seeing one or two (or three!) stars fades, read the review anew. Is there something you can take away from it? As you work on your next book, think about what reviewers have said about pacing or characters. Maybe there’s a gold nugget to mine from it. Maybe not. But at least look.
4. Process it with other writers. There are so many writing communities on social media, including on Twitter and Instagram. If you’re not already connected with those groups, start an account and share your experiences. Or just read others’ experiences. Your negative review isn’t the only one out there, and it helps to know that others are going through this … and moving on.
5. Don’t read reviews. I’ve heard some authors say this works wonders for them. It’s simple advice and solves the problem. I’m not in this camp, but I say, whatever works for you!
Your Story Matters!
Let me say this subtly: DON’T STOP CREATING!!! (Subtle enough?)
Don’t crumble/crumple in the face of one opinion. Don’t give up the next book because of one review on this book. Your story needs to get out there, and you’re just the one to write it. No one else has your voice.
And remember this: in the world of writing, for every “boring,” there’s a “bravo!” For every “meh,” there’s a “more!” And, for every “I quit,” there’s a, “that’s why I do this!”
If no one’s said this to you today, I’ll say it: Bravo for what you create! Five stars for having the courage to put your work out there into the world!
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If you want to process the writing journey or clarify your vision of authoring, consider a coaching session. I’d love to be part of your creative journey!